Anticipate–Mid Year Check

anticipate

So when this year started, I was determined to look for the positive and to believe the best was going to happen. I am not the most positive person…in fact, I am a problem solver, but with that comes the fact that I will see all the problems first.

This year has been ROUGH so far. It has been full of pain and frustration. I have been quiet on the blog and I go through phases of quiet on social media in general. Some painful events happened all while I was sincerely believing good was going to prevail. What has been amazing to watch is that for every pain, there has been good. I haven’t been left alone to wallow in sadness, but God has been close, letting me know that I can still anticipate.

In February, my faithful furry companion of the last eight and a half years took an extremely sudden turn for the worse, and within hours I had to make the decision to put her to sleep. This was an event that I had honestly thought was still a bit in the future. She had been sick and I knew the time would come to let go of my dog, but it was still too soon. The pain was awful. I had tried writing about it, but it just seemed so silly to be hurting so deeply over my pup.

About six weeks later, I had gotten pretty knee deep in the search for a new furry companion. I had an exact picture in my head of what the perfect situation would be. Then I saw this face  IMG_1357and  all those I threw those pictures in my head out the window. Having a puppy has been a challenge, but there has been lots of laughs and my heart has been filled more than I could have imagined. Through this situation I have learned that it is possible to be joyful in grief and to anticipate that grief does not have to be defining.

 

Fast forward a few months and another pretty heavy situation came into my life. It shook me to the core. I again did not ever believe I would be dealing with this circumstance and was extremely unequipped to handle it. I walked into that week feeling lost, vulnerable, and wondering where God was. Later that week I had the opportunity to go to a conference that turned out to be more of a retreat for me. I had time to be still and renewed. God took that time to remind me that once again He had my back. That even when I was feeling as if He was nowhere to be found, He was breathing new life in me and restoring me.

Anticipation has not taken on the look that I had thought it would, but I think it has been more authentic this way.  I don’t have to wait for the other shoe to drop or blindly believe that life is all sunshine and roses…but it’s somewhere in the middle.  I am learning more and more that the bad circumstances don’t have to be the moments that define who I become. I am learning that I can anticipate God being in the good and the bad.

 

About Marjorie

Marjorie is a NW girl who now calls the Nashville, TN area home. She is VP of Events for Fuselage and wears many hats in that position, but the most important is working with Student Pastors to provide ways to reach students. Marjorie is also passionate about seeing people living out their dreams and using their gifts to make a difference around them.